Bored VS. Hungry (The On-going Battle)

Me. Every Day.

Me. Every Day.

“You are not hungry. You are bored. You don’t need to eat anything right now.” This is my mantra of late. It’s on on-going battle for me – am I eating because I’m actually hungry or just for something to do?

I am definitely a mindless eater as well as an emotional eater. It’s easy for me to eat without really thinking about what I’m putting into my mouth – until it’s too late! Or to eat because I’m upset – it’s called comfort food. But I’m working on changing that. I’ve started recording everything I put into my mouth. Everything. I am currently using the app My Fitness Pal which I find really easy and convenient since I always have my phone with me no matter where I go. It’s quick and it doesn’t take long to record meals. The best part is the app keeps track of everything for me – calories, nutrition, water intake, exercise etc. I am also learning to ask myself important questions before eating…

“Are you actually hungry?” – I know it seems like an obvious question but if you’ve ever struggled with your weight and your relationship with food – you know it’s just not that easy.

“Are you maybe thirsty instead of hungry?” I’m learning to try drinking something first as sometimes I think I mistake hunger for thirst and I know drinking enough water is a big part of healthy weight loss.

“Are you just craving something?” Cravings are real people and they’re not just for when you’re pregnant!

“If you conclude you are actually hungry and need to eat something, what healthy choice can you make?” Just the fact of intentionally thinking about what I’m going to eat helps me make better choices. The more I plan and think about what I’m going to eat ahead of time, the better I do.

Do you have any tips for making healthy eating choices? I welcome all the help I can get on this journey! ­čÖé

Happy (and healthy) eating!

Trying to be less of a Sweetie

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Apparently I’m too much of a sweetie – according to my scale at least. ­čśë

This is an on-going journey for me – a long one with many ups and downs. In the last 14 months since I gave birth to my second baby, honestly I haven’t made the strides I thought I would have by now as far as my weight loss goals. At least I haven’t put more weight on after the pregnancy which is what happened with my first.

At the same time the flip side of not reaching my goals yet is to look at what I have accomplished in the last 14 months.

I have brought a new little person into the world.

I have become of a mother of two and have adjusted to taking care of two little boys.

I managed to survive 5 months of non-stop traveling and fund-raising in Canada with a 3 year old and a newborn along for the ride.

I managed to complete several training modules, lots of paperwork and personality tests and other meetings as part of becoming a long-term Global Worker with our organisation, the PAOC. (All while getting up an average of 3-4 times a night with my newborn).

I stood in BOTH of my sisters’ weddings and was able to celebrate with them which was really special.

I visited lots of friends and family and we made the most of our six-month stay in Canada.

I managed to pack up our lives (14 checked bags later), get on two different planes for a 26-ish hour journey with a toddler and a newborn (and my Hubby) and move our family across the world, again.

I have managed to adapt to a new city in a country that’s not my own while juggling parenting and learning a new job.

I continue to learn a new language and become comfortable in it.

I have met many new friends and have made a home here in Mwanza.

None of the above-mentioned things are small matters. It wasn’t easy – but I did it. When I look back – even though I haven’t reached my weight-loss goals yet – I can see that I have managed to do many things in the last year or so. Now that I feel a bit settled I have started to re-focus again and get back to my health goals. Day by day, I’ll get there. I don’t want to put a time-limit on it. It more than often doesn’t work for me and I am realising that this is my life-long journey. There’s no time-limit. I simply do my best each day and hopefully get better over time. It’s about striving for that balance in life that is so key. So while yes, I am definitely trying to be less of a sweetie in regards to what I eat –┬áI can also recognise that there is so much more to my journey to be a whole and healthy person. I need to celebrate all the things I HAVE been able to accomplish at the same time that I continue to work towards what I haven’t yet accomplished.

When I look back over the last 14 months sometimes I can’t believe what I managed to do! It was A LOT! It makes me happy and proud of myself and that kind of positive thinking about myself can only spur me on to even greater accomplishments.

So – bring it on! I’m ready for what’s next and I’m excited to continue on this journey, becoming better each day. Remember to focus on what you have ALREADY accomplished – even if you’re not there yet – you need to celebrate along the way because no matter what, you’re farther than you were yesterday.

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Chubby (and not loving it)

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[My adorable (and chubby) baby boy (6 weeks old).]

I wish I could be “chubby and loving it.” ┬áLike a baby. (I think they’re the only ones who are truly chubby and loving it). I always say jokingly to my new little guy, “Rock the chubby look while it’s cute!” and there most definitely comes a time when chubby is just not cute at all. I am very far past the “chubby is cute” age. It’s LONG gone. ┬áI cannot be chubby – and love it. It’s not happening.

I hate that word – “chubby.” It’s amazing how a word can be so cute when it’s said about a baby and so NOT cute when it’s said about anyone past the age of about six, really. Whatever you want to call it – chubby, fat, large, overweight, chunky (I hate all of these words by the way) – to put it nicely – I am not at my ideal weight. I don’t mean my ideal weight according to some height/weight chart or Hollywood’s version of my ideal weight, I mean the weight where I feel comfortable in my own skin. The weight where I’m able to be active and healthy and happy with my body. That’s the magic number I’m striving for. I don’t even know what it is (I have an estimate) but I’ll know it when I get there, that’s for sure.

Now that Gabriel is almost two months old, I’m really starting to feel the pressure and I am getting a bit anxious about shedding the final pregnancy weight (and some additional pounds after that) and finally getting to my goal. I know I can do it, but at the same time I haven’t gotten there yet and some days it can be discouraging. (Mostly those days when I’ve eaten everything in sight, I’m feeling disgusting and yet still choose to eat a chocolate bar anyways). ┬áNonetheless, I am trying to take it day by day and and focus on trying to be consistent and do the best I can, considering I don’t have much free time. ­čśë

As I was thinking about writing this blog; thinking about my body (I’ll admit, in mostly a negative way) I remembered reading something on another blog (which I now forget and so can’t give credit). She was talking about all the amazing things her body has done and I could relate, and when I thought about it and figured out just exactly what my body has been able to do, it changed my perspective.

So here are 10 amazing things this body of mine has done/does:

1. ┬áThis body carries me wherever I want to go. It is generally healthy and strong and let’s me accomplish all of my daily tasks (which are many, these days).

2. This body has been a home for a little, growing person- twice.

3. This body has delivered two beautiful, healthy baby boys.

4. This body is what I use to show affection and love – to my husband, my children, my family and friends. (I need to be thankful for seemingly small things like this as there are many people who’s bodies can’t do these ‘normal actions’ because of sickness, disease or accidents- hugs, kisses, handshakes, etc.)

5.  This body holds and comforts my babies.

6. This body houses my mind, my thoughts, my emotions – all of who I am.

7. This body allows me to serve and help others.

8. This body has provided approximately 2240 meals for my babies (so far).

9. This body allows me to travel around the world; to see beautiful places and people.

10. This body is there for me even when I’m not there for it, like I should be. It’s gotten me this far.

Yes, I still want to lose some weight and get healthier, but I am reminded that I need to be proud of this body, because it really is quite amazing.

While no one wants to be chubby (or insert any insecurity you have about your body), could we just take a moment today and appreciate all that our bodies do for us?  Maybe it will make you think differently next time you look in the mirror.

 

Battle to lose the pounds

I am currently sitting here in my office, eating a rice cake. It tastes like Styrofoam, but it’s only 30 calories and it’s getting me through my apparent need to be shoving something in my mouth at this moment.

Weight loss is HARD. I have never been one of those naturally thin people who can eat whatever she wants and not have to worry. I have to worry. I have to watch EVERYTHING that I put into my mouth, because if I’m not paying attention I will put on weight. I’ve tried to lose weight several times in my adult life. I’ve tried different diets, I’ve tried cutting out food groups, like carbs. And I’ve had some success, but inevitably the weight creeps back on as soon as I stop paying close attention. It’s the one thing I’m always dealing with in my life. It’s annoying and I honestly wish I didn’t have to work so hard to be at a healthy weight, but I’m trying something new…I’m trying to accept who I am, embrace it and find what works for me.

Ultimately I want to be happy. Regardless of the number staring back up at me from the scale, I want to be happy. I want to enjoy my life, I don’t want my life to be all about restrictions and what I CAN’T do or CAN’T eat. I want it to be about what I CAN do, what I CAN control, and what I CAN eat. This is the journey I’m on.

Honestly it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride. I have good days and bad, good months and bad…you get the idea. But I’m trying hard to make small changes slowly, that will eventually add up to a changed lifestyle. Over the last almost one year, I’ve been conscious of this and working towards it. I’ve had many slip ups for sure, and have currently plateaued in my weight loss which is frustrating, but I’m trying to see how far I’ve come and be thankful for where I am. To date I have lost 35lbs. Not a crazy-high number, but a number I’m proud of nonetheless. It’s better than nothing, than not trying at all. I’m about half way to the weight loss goal I had set for myself almost a year ago. I really thought I would have achieved it by now, or at least been a lot closer. But I’ve realized that you can’t rush weight loss, especially if you want it to stay off. Although I haven’t lost any more weight recently I have managed to keep what I did lose off. I am trying to get back on track. I have been slacking when it comes to workouts and even my eating habits. I have started my food diary again, recording EVERYTHING I eat and drink which I find really helps me and keeps me more accountable. And I am slowly trying to get back to exercising every day. I’m a work in progress! But every day I try is a win.

I think weight loss is so much more of a mental thing than a physical thing. My battle is definitely mental, all in my head. My attitude and perspective are deciding factors when it comes to whether I binge and eat ten cookies or I choose to have a piece of fruit. So I’m making baby steps. Trying to take things day by day, small changes that over time I know will help me lose weight, but also change my perspective and ultimately my lifestyle as a whole.

Any of you who are on a similar journey or have even been — I’m sure you can relate. Please share your successes AND your failures – it helps to hear other people’s stories.

Just another one of those areas where I’m trying to become the BEST I can be.

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