That Little Voice Inside Your Head

We all do it. Just go ahead and admit it. It doesn’t make you weird or crazy. Sometimes you talk to yourself. It’s normal –  I do it. Sometimes it’s positive –  a little pep talk to get yourself going; to motivate yourself to make good choices. “Come on, you can do this!” or “You’ll thank yourself later” or “Remember why you are doing this; don’t quit now.” etc. But other times we can get negative and down on ourselves; we can beat ourselves up a little bit, sometimes without even realising what we’re doing or realising just how damaging it can be.

That little voice inside your head is a powerful one. It can be used for good or for evil. It can lift you up and it can really bring you down if you’re not careful. This quote really strikes me:

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You are always listening – to YOU. You can try to ignore that little voice – but you will still hear it. You can’t get rid of it which is why it’s so important to make sure it’s a positive, reassuring voice and not a negative, self-depricating, self-loathing voice.

Some of us fall into this more easily than others, but I think everyone can relate on some level – where at some point they have been down on themselves and that little voice inside their head has made it worse. If you’re already the type of person who tends to be really critical of themselves than this can become a serious problem. Before you know it nothing you do is good enough. No matter what anyone else says you find a way to criticise yourself. Let’s not confuse this with being humble. We want to be humble people, but being humble does not equal being self-depricating. You can take a compliment by simply saying “Thank you” – this does not make you proud – it makes you thankful that someone noticed and appreciated you or something you did. It’s OK to be proud of your accomplishments; of where you’ve come from – maybe something you’ve worked really hard at achieving – it’s more than OK to celebrate those things. You can still be a humble person and celebrate the good in you.

If we’re not careful that little voice inside of us can tell us lies and worse – we can start to believe them.

“You’re a failure.”

“You can’t do that.”

“You will never be…smart, pretty, admirable, likeable, fun…”

The TRUTH is we all have a unique purpose. I truly believe God has a simply incredible reason for creating YOU. He doesn’t make mistakes – you are the way you are for a God-given purpose. This is the truth that should guide us. The one that should trump that little voice inside our head when it starts to get negative. We go back to the truth. I am beautiful. I am a creation of the All-Mighty God and I have an amazing purpose for this life and for eternity – and so I refuse to believe the lie that I’m not good enough. The creator of the whole universe created me, loves me and wants to know me. Think about that for a second and if that little voice inside your head is telling you anything different – politely, tell him to shut up. Like many mamas I know say, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Sometimes we need to tell that little inner voice exactly that.

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Not a dick: a man’s perspective on modesty

Loved this perspective! For both men and women – let’s just start looking at (and treating) the opposite sex as people, ’cause that’s what they are.

Hannah Schaefer

There is so much to be said about modesty – more than what can be summed up in one blog post – and after my post about modesty and yoga pants, I realized there is so much more to the topic than what I can address as a woman. My dear friend Austin has offered to share some of his thoughts, and I’m so excited for you to read them. You can find him on Twitter at @LindnerAustin and Instagram at austincarrmusic.

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I’m a man. And I generally like to think of myself as more than a penis.

As ridiculous as that sounds, it’s honestly how I feel whenever a heated conversation about modesty begins. The two sides of the debate form opposing lines, ready to attack the other side with thrown words or rocks at the drop of a hat. And without a doubt, whenever the “modest is…

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Thoughts on the Balancing Act

Oh the balancing act that is life…

I wish I was as good at balancing as this elephant, he just makes it look so easy… 😉  Sometimes balancing everything in my life is incredibly challenging. I’m almost positive I’m not the only one that faces this challenge.  The goal, of course is to be a well-balance person – have I made it there yet? – Not even close. Will I ever make it “there?” – Probably not. But I tend to think it’s more about the trying than the “getting there.”

It can be hard to keep up; especially so if you are measuring yourself against other people’s standards. But it’s a human problem. We like to compare. We like to compete. We judge ourselves based on how we’re doing compared to so-and-so and if we appear to be managing to keep things afloat “better” than them – we are successful. (Or at least we feel a bit better about ourselves).

I really like this quote:

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Wow. Just do me a favour and read that one more time. Yes, let it sink in.  I come back to this quote a lot. It is such a good reminder for me. I cannot be happy while constantly comparing myself (everything I do and everything I am) to someone else. I’m not that person. I’m not supposed to act exactly as they do. My purpose is not their purpose. It seems to be so easy to fall into this trap of comparison. But it doesn’t get you anywhere. The sooner you can embrace YOU – flaws and all – the happier you will be.  It might sound “cliche” but I have found it to be true.

I’ve come to realise that achieving a balanced lifestyle and accepting me for me often go hand in hand. The only standards I should be measuring myself against are God’s. When insecurity starts to creep in I need to remind myself who I belong to – who created me – and who doesn’t make mistakes. I am the way I am for an eternal reason that is bigger than I can ever comprehend. Balance needs to start with me looking to God on a daily basis; knowing His purpose for my life and making His standards my measuring stick instead of my neighbour’s.

It’s definitely much easier said than done, I’ll give you that. I admit it – I have a lot of balls in the air – my plate is full! And trying to balance being a wonderful wife and mother while at the same time working full time, living in a new culture, learning a new language, making healthier choices, investing in relationships (family and friends), and most importantly spending quality time with my God – can seem like an impossible task. But I do know it’s not impossible. It’s not impossible when I look to God first – because when I do that, He has this amazing way of helping everything else fall into place. It may not always be pretty, but I trust God with my heart. If it’s balance I seek I know I need to turn to my creator, who knows me better than I know myself.

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As I was thinking about the verse above and about achieving a balanced lifestyle…this reminder from God came to me (and maybe it will be a good one for you too).

Jade (or insert your name here)  – you are not the one holding everything together. It’s not up to you. It never was and it never will be. Stop trying to ‘do it all’ by yourself. It’s not how you were created and it will never work. Save yourself much pain and frustration and let me take care of you. I want to take care of you. Rest in me and watch everything else fall into its proper place. Trust me, I’ve got this. – God. 

*Sigh of relief*

NOW, I’m ready to tackle this day. 🙂

 

 

Warning: I’m about to fall apart

I wish I had a sign like this to hold up sometimes.

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Maybe I’ll make one.

It’s been one of those weeks. The ones where you are sure your head is going to explode. I’ve been feeling so many things with no time to process – add in some sleep deprivation and some cranky kids and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a breakdown. (Or two).

We have been going without a break for a while now. We just got home from a two-week intensive mission training conference, which was amazing and exhausting all at the same time. We are now home for four days (two more to go) and then we’re traveling again on the weekend. Obviously four days is not enough recovery time for me since I’ve had two melt-downs in two days.

It’s always been my nature to stuff things down until there are so many little things stuffed down that I can’t take it anymore and it just takes one stupid little thing to break the dam and all of a sudden emotions pent up for weeks are overflowing everywhere, violently. I don’t like this about myself and I try to work on it…sometimes with some progress, sometimes without.

I feel bad because when I have a breakdown and take it out my family it usually has very little to do with them.

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One of the classes we took at the missions conference was on “self-leadership and conflict.” Wow was it ever challenging for me. The teacher said that self-leadership is the hardest kind of leadership and I have to agree! Self control can be a big hurdle for me in more ways than one. I was so challenged to be reminded (because I already know) that no one else is responsible for my feelings. No one can “make me feel…” _____ (fill in the blank – happy, sad, mad, frustrated, annoyed, etc.). I CHOOSE to feel that way. What a big pill to swallow. It’s so easy to play the blame game and blame your feelings on someone else’s behaviour. The truth is – I can’t control anyone else’s actions; I can control mine. I can control how I react to anything. It sounds easy. It’s not.

I’m a work in progress (like everyone else). It’s been a rough few days. But that doesn’t mean I give up say this is the way it’s going to be. I am choosing to pick up the pieces and move on with a promise to myself to try better next time. Now, I know I can’t do this alone. THAT would be impossible.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  -John 15:5 (NIV) 

So today, after two very rough days, I’m choosing to look to the One who can help me bear much fruit; the One who can help me choose the right response in any circumstance.

It’s a new day. Thank Goodness.

Mommy Fuel

A few days ago I met a wonderful lady who has nine (nope that’s not a typo!) children. Yes – they are all hers and her husband’s and yes – they were all planned and no – they might not be “done” yet.  🙂

In a day and age where people just do not have really big families anymore it was refreshing. She seemed relaxed and easy going and all of her children are happy and healthy. At first, I admit I thought, “WOAH! NINE KIDS?!?!?” But as I talked to this lady a little bit, the shock wore off.  Sure nine is a lot – she knows that – but she loves kids (she grew up in a family of 12 kids) and she was so full of joy that it rubbed off on me. I don’t mean I want nine children now, but I definitely don’t feel guilty about wanting more than two. She admitted that it’s crazy at her house most days, and she has had to learn how to be a jack-of-all-trades but at the same time her house is filled with laughter and giggling, smiles, hugs and kisses. And I suddenly knew how she “does it.” I thought of one of my other friends who has three young children, close in age – she said she runs on “hugs, kisses and ‘I love you Mommy’s.'” And I remember relating to that statement. Whether you have one or nine that’s what you survive on. In between all the sleepless nights, temper tantrums, sibling rivalry and laundry there are such sweet moments; smiles, un-prompted hugs or kisses, an “I love you Mommy!” for no reason at all, and the contagious giggles. I like to think of these things as “Mommy Fuel.” It’s the stuff we run on! It’s how we keep going through difficult days (and nights). It’s what reminds us of just how blessed we are as Mothers. There will always be difficult moments but I’m pretty sure there’s enough “Mommy Fuel” to get us through. I’ve posted it before on Facebook, but it’s too good not to post again, I love this quote:

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Ain’t that the truth. Much love to all my Mommy friends. Whether you have one or nine they’re all blessings and it is a privilege to be a Mother.

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