Thoughts on the Balancing Act

Oh the balancing act that is life…

Photo Credit: http://www.goodreads.com

I wish I was as good at balancing as this elephant, he just makes it look so easy… 😉  Sometimes balancing everything in my life is incredibly challenging. I’m almost positive I’m not the only one that faces this challenge.  The goal, of course is to be a well-balance person – have I made it there yet? – Not even close. Will I ever make it “there?” – Probably not. But I tend to think it’s more about the trying than the “getting there.”

It can be hard to keep up; especially so if you are measuring yourself against other people’s standards. But it’s a human problem. We like to compare. We like to compete. We judge ourselves based on how we’re doing compared to so-and-so and if we appear to be managing to keep things afloat “better” than them – we are successful. (Or at least we feel a bit better about ourselves).

I really like this quote:

Wow. Just do me a favour and read that one more time. Yes, let it sink in.  I come back to this quote a lot. It is such a good reminder for me. I cannot be happy while constantly comparing myself (everything I do and everything I am) to someone else. I’m not that person. I’m not supposed to act exactly as they do. My purpose is not their purpose. It seems to be so easy to fall into this trap of comparison. But it doesn’t get you anywhere. The sooner you can embrace YOU – flaws and all – the happier you will be.  It might sound “cliche” but I have found it to be true.

I’ve come to realise that achieving a balanced lifestyle and accepting me for me often go hand in hand. The only standards I should be measuring myself against are God’s. When insecurity starts to creep in I need to remind myself who I belong to – who created me – and who doesn’t make mistakes. I am the way I am for an eternal reason that is bigger than I can ever comprehend. Balance needs to start with me looking to God on a daily basis; knowing His purpose for my life and making His standards my measuring stick instead of my neighbour’s.

It’s definitely much easier said than done, I’ll give you that. I admit it – I have a lot of balls in the air – my plate is full! And trying to balance being a wonderful wife and mother while at the same time working full time, living in a new culture, learning a new language, making healthier choices, investing in relationships (family and friends), and most importantly spending quality time with my God – can seem like an impossible task. But I do know it’s not impossible. It’s not impossible when I look to God first – because when I do that, He has this amazing way of helping everything else fall into place. It may not always be pretty, but I trust God with my heart. If it’s balance I seek I know I need to turn to my creator, who knows me better than I know myself.

As I was thinking about the verse above and about achieving a balanced lifestyle…this reminder from God came to me (and maybe it will be a good one for you too).

Jade (or insert your name here)  – you are not the one holding everything together. It’s not up to you. It never was and it never will be. Stop trying to ‘do it all’ by yourself. It’s not how you were created and it will never work. Save yourself much pain and frustration and let me take care of you. I want to take care of you. Rest in me and watch everything else fall into its proper place. Trust me, I’ve got this. – God. 

*Sigh of relief*

NOW, I’m ready to tackle this day. 🙂

 

 

I stuck my hand in poop, how was your weekend?

Happy Monday morning people!!! (I know, a bit of an oxymoron, I’m purposefully being sarcastic since I believe it’s likely the only way I’ll make it through this day).

How was your weekend? It’s a normal Monday morning question. I’ve already been asked a few times. My answer? – Good. It was good.

The truth? It was NOT good. It was probably one of the worst weekends I’ve had in a while. But that’s not the polite way to answer the greeting, “Hey, how was your weekend?” – no one actually wants to hear details about your weekend, especially if they’re not good.  So on Monday morning, my horrible weekend just becomes a vague, “Good.” Lucky (or not) for you people who read my blog, you’re about to get the REAL answer to how my weekend went, just because I need a good vent before I can move on and tackle this new week.

I’m pretty sure I needed this sign stuck to me this past weekend:

From Thursday I was on my own as Julius traveled to Kenya for his Grandfather’s funeral. Thursday and Friday went ok – Gabriel was grumpy because he had a cold, the nights were short as he was up a lot because of being stuffed up and coughing, but we made it through till Saturday. The day Julius was supposed to get home. I knew it would be evening before he arrived so I had mentally prepared myself to get through the day alone. The day was rough. The night before both the kids had been up for over an hour coughing at separate times – in addition to Gabriel’s normal schedule of waking up twice which means I hardly slept. So now I was on my own with the kids for the third day in a row and both of them were sick and we had had a rough night with little sleep the night before. It was not looking good and  just because I needed something else to deal with – the power went off at about 9am and was out all day until early evening. I had planned to call my Mom in Canada and catch up but I lost the sim card and couldn’t find it anywhere so I wasn’t able to talk to her. Plus since I wasn’t able to charge my phone, the battery died about half way through the day. The kids were nasty all day, Gabriel wouldn’t sleep longer than half an hour at a time so I couldn’t really rest while he slept. Ezra was grumpy and not feeling good and overly sensitive because of that. I was barely holding myself together when the power finally came back and I was able to charge my phone a bit and heard from Julius. He wasn’t going to make it home that night. I was on my own for another night and into the day on Sunday. I had a bit of a meltdown, I couldn’t help it. It was like the final straw and as soon as it was pulled, I fell apart. I was so tired I just couldn’t handle anything very well anymore. I had been holding my tired self together by one little thread – Julius is coming home today. You can make it until tonight.   So I was not mentally prepared to have to do another night and day alone with two sick kids. Nothing had gone my way – I hadn’t been able to talk to my family in Canada which would have cheered me up a bit,  I hadn’t gotten any rest; each night seemed worse than the one before and now I had to do it again all alone. But I got off the phone, wiped my tears and sucked it up for the boys’ sake.

Right after that, I thought I smelled something so I picked up Gabriel and went to check his diaper – he had pooped (no problem, he’s a baby, it’s what they do) but he had pooped right up until the very edge of his diaper and so when I went to pull his diaper out to check him I stuck my hand right in the poop. Lovely. Well  I got that mess cleaned up and Gabriel into a fresh diaper, and I got Ezra some chocolate milk and then I sat down. Before I could even think one thought Ezra knocked over his milk and it spilled everywhere. A huge chocolatey mess all over the floor. So I got the mop out and cleaned up that while Ezra cried and Gabe whined. We made it through the rest of the evening somehow and I got them to bed, cleaned up the kitchen, checked in with Julius and then crashed, praying that the night would be smoother than the previous two. Just when I think I’ve taken all I can handle and this night will HAVE to be better and I’ll actually get some rest…it turns out to be the worst night yet. Both kids were up coughing again large chunks of the night and Ezra threw up at one point – all over himself and his bed and the floor. And then just to top it off both kids were WIDE awake at 6am with no chance of them going back to sleep. I think I maybe got two hours of sleep Saturday night.

Definitely felt this way over the weekend.

We made it through Sunday morning and Julius got home early afternoon. We took it easy and it was actually a good day. I’m very glad he’s home. I’m still exhausted since last night wasn’t a whole lot better (except there was no puke so I guess that was an improvement) but it’s a new week so I need to leave my awful weekend behind me and look forward.

There’s my sad tale, the true answer to how my weekend was. Aren’t you glad you asked? (Oh, you didn’t ask? Sorry).

My thought exactly this morning. Happy Monday!

So, how was your weekend? 🙂

My ‘Mommy Sanity Savers’

Since becoming a mom almost 4 years ago, I have had my share of ups and downs. I’ve been so tired I can barely remember my name, let alone yours. I’ve been so frustrated that all I can do is cry. I have also laughed more than I ever have before. Motherhood is such a crazy thing; greater than you could have ever imagined while at the same time more challenging that you could have ever imagined.

While I do have some friends who are mommies – those are not the kind of ‘friends’ I want to talk about today. They’re important – you need people you can vent to and tell your stories to who will laugh and cry with you and just ‘get it.’ But in addition to real-life human friends – there are a few other things that I have become very close to and really can’t do without since having children. They keep me sane (or close). Here’s the list…

 

1. COFFEE. COFFEE. COFFEE. I never used to be much of a coffee drinker before kids. I’d have it once in a while, maybe a specialty coffee for a treat but I never was one of those “I MUST HAVE MY COFFEE EVERY MORNING OR ELSE” type of people. Since having kids, I have become one of those above-mentioned people. If you’re talking to me and it’s before I’ve had coffee, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so grumpy and nasty and forgetful, but I was woken up 3 times last night by a crying baby and once by my toddler who had wet his bed, so forgive me if I seem a little off – let me finish my coffee and then – we’ll talk.
   

   Photo Credit: http://www.fooddiggity.com

2. My Phone. I admit it, I am probably one of those annoying moms who always has her phone and is always snapping pictures of the kids, but I can’t help it – they’re too cute and I just HAVE to share the cuteness with the world. I need to have it close by to catch that cute expression or take a video of an adorable interaction. This has become even more important now that we live overseas and are far away from family and friends. I want to make sure everyone is getting lots of updates on the kids and pictures and videos– it eases my guilt a little about ripping the kids away from their grandparents, aunts and uncles. (No one misses us, it’s all about the kids – it’s ok – we’ve accepted that). 🙂
   

   Photo Credit: newlaunches.com

3. Concealer. I’m not a huge make-up person, never have been. The most I ever wear unless I’m in a wedding or something is a bit of mascara and lip-gloss and CONCEALER. This was an addition I added AFTER the children came along. Otherwise the dark circles under my eyes would give away my lack of sleep before I had the chance to tell you about it.
   

   Photo Credit: hellomagazine.com

4. A good cup of tea and an Episode (or 4) of Gilmore Girls. After the kids are (finally) in bed and the house is quiet (and dinner is cleaned up and things are laid out for the next morning) there is nothing like sitting down with my tea and escaping into Stars Hollow with Lorelei and Rori. It’s an hour (or two) of fluff and it gives my mind a break from thinking about the hundreds of tasks that I need to finish. Everyone needs an escape. Moms especially – or we’ll go crazy.
   

   Photo Credit: ultimategilmoregirls.wikia.com

5. Now I’ve always been a fan of chocolate, but it has so much more meaning now – when it’s a reward I give myself for making it through the whole day without killing my children. 🙂
   

   Photo Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk

 

What keeps you sane as a Mom? What can’t you go without since having your kids?