What a tired Mommy you know needs to hear today.

Photo Credit: mommyshorts.com

Photo Credit: mommyshorts.com

Do you have a friend who is a tired mommy? A co-worker? A daughter?  A sister? A wife? Then listen up people! I’ve read quite a number of blogs with similar lists – some variation of, “What NOT to say to a tired mom or a mother of young children.” They are all right and true and I tend to agree with them completely. But I want to take the opposite approach today and tell you what that tired mommy in your life needs to hear you say. So please, take notes and say these things often – it will make a bigger difference that you could ever imagine.

1. “You look great today!” or “You’re beautiful.” or “That outfit looks great on you.” or “I love your hair/make up today.” You get the idea. Us tired mommies –  we need some love and encouragement! Compliment us. PLEASE. We spend most of the time in sweats covered with snot, baby puke and drool, trying to cover up our huge bags and dark circles, with our hair up in a crazy-lady bun. – We need to be reminded that we are beautiful. So please take every opportunity you can give us a compliment. It will make our day and boost our confidence – especially when we’re emotionally on the edge because of never getting a full night’s rest.

2. “I’m so sorry.” PERIOD. Just stop right there. Please restrain yourself from offering cliche phrases such as, “It will get better” or “This too shall pass” or “Enjoy these moments when they’re small, they grow so fast” etc. While these phrases may have some truth – they’re not helpful. All we want to hear you say is, “I’m sorry.” Just knowing that we have your sympathies helps more than you know. Support and sympathy are what we need – not solutions. Maybe something worked great for your kids – I’m all for the sharing, but when we’re so exhausted we are barely holding it together – we don’t want another option to try out. We just want you to sympathise with us. Give us a hug and tell us you’re sorry and you’re there for us. That’s it. You might not think that will really help – but it will.

3. “I am bringing dinner over tonight.” or “Go take a nap – I’ll watch the kids.” Don’t ask us what we need – while your intentions are good, because we want to appear as though we’re not falling apart, we’ll never tell you what we really need help with. We’ll say we’re doing fine even when we’re not. So instead of asking what we need – just take a guess and do it. Bring over dinner. Bring over chocolate. Watch the kids while we take a nap or just have some alone time. Take us out for a coffee. Arrange a babysitter for the kids so we can get out for a date night with hubby. Anything will be greatly appreciated.

4. “Your kids are beautiful.” A compliment about our kids is as good as complimenting us. It makes us feel like we’re not totally messing them up. 🙂

5. “You are an amazing mom and you’re doing a wonderful job with your kids; they are blessed to have you as their mom.” This statement (or a variation of it) is more important than I think I could ever convey in words. Please use it. We’re exhausted and it’s easy for insecurities to creep in and for us to doubt our abilities as a parent. We need to hear often that we’re doing a good job.

Thank you for reading. Please put these few things into practice. Say these things to the tired mommy in your life and you might be surprised at the changes you notice in her. Oh of course she’ll still be exhausted – but maybe, just maybe, she’ll be a little happier and able to cope better despite the lack of sleep.

And if you are a tired mommy reading this, let me tell you a few things:

~You look gorgeous today – your smile is beautiful especially when you’re smiling at your kids.
~I am genuinely sorry that you had to wake up 5 times last night with the baby/toddler – that just plain sucks.
~I hope someone in your life will read this and bring you a dinner, or some chocolate or let you take a nap or arrange to take you out for a break. You deserve it.
~Your kids are absolutely beautiful.
~Please believe me when I say – you are doing a fantastic job with your kids. You’re a wonderful mommy and those kids of yours are so blessed to have you as their mom.

OK. I’m off to get more coffee. Hang in there all you tired mommies! You’re not alone – and you’re doing a better job than you think you are – I guarantee it. 🙂


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. truepeacenlite
    Nov 18, 2014 @ 12:08:06

    Thank you. You look great and You’re a wonderful mother. May I share this?


  2. truepeacenlite
    Nov 18, 2014 @ 12:23:35

    Reblogged this on Soul Stories and commented:
    This is true and wonderfully written


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