Mommy Musings

My poor little guy had a rough day yesterday for a two-year old, for anyone really. The day started out well. He has a little cold but it hasn’t seemed to damper his spirits, he’s still been happy – and no fever so I’m happy.

We were headed out to church for a meeting, Ezra was outside seeing us off and all of a sudden he starts screaming at the top of his lungs! I recognized the cry immediately – he was hurt. So I ran over to him, he was grabbing at the back of his neck…low and behold there was a bee still attached to him, stinging him. So I swated the bee away, picked him up, put some ice on the sting and just held him for a while. Poor little guy. Not fun at all, especially if you’re two and you don’t even know what has happened! He doesn’t know it was a bee, all he knows is it hurts! He finally calmed down, and it didn’t swell bad, so at least we know he’s not allergic. Ezra has had a lot of ‘firsts’ here in Tanzania. He took his first steps here, said his first words, got chicken pox here (the week we arrived!), and now his first bee sting. Gotta take the bad with the good I guess. He survived. It was enough to stop my heart for a beat though! I hate that moment, when he starts screaming and I know he’s hurt but I don’t know what’s happened! That’s a scary moment for a mommy. He woke up last night with a nightmare, I’m not sure if he was re-living his bee sting or what, but it took us about an hour to calm him down and get him back to bed. 😦

I know I can’t protect him from everything, nor do I really think that’s good for him — in my head. In my heart I just want to hold him and never let go and protect him from every kind of hurt for the rest of his life! Being a parent is one of the most amazing and challenging things I’ve ever experienced. In the end I just pray God helps me, because I only want the best for my son, but I know that I’m flawed and things will never be perfect. He will get hurt. But as he grows I just hope I’m able to equip him well enough that he’s able to bounce back from those hurts stronger and braver.

This morning I dropped him off at Daycare for the morning…he was having a rough morning and I had to leave him crying. 😦 Hard moments for mommies. Even though I know he will calm down and end up having fun, because he always does, it’s still so hard to leave when he’s upset. I have to force myself. Because in the end he will be better for it. He will know that he can surivive without Mommy (even though I don’t want to ever admit that) and he will know that I always come back for him. He’s growing up! Not a baby anymore – such a scary and exciting thought all at the same time for me.

Ahh well. I’m enjoying the toddler phase while I can, since I know it won’t be long, if fact I think I will blink, and he will be a kid, all grown and heading off to school!

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